Dependence or Independence?

          Technology. In my mind, this word seems to start small and keep growing and growing until it erupts with an explosion of sparkly megapixels in assorted colors, not so different from the fireworks detonating in the skies of our country tonight. I'm not quite sure if this is simply because I am a product of the 20th century, or because I have a love/hate relationship with anxiety-producing crime television but this idea evokes so many different emotions in me. My generation is basically Pavlov-ified to salivate when we hear, read, or imagine the word and its possibilities...technology. However, I don't need to watch one more episode of CSI to believe how real and unpredictable the dangers of high-tech gadgets can be.
          As a 10-year old, my obsession with technology seemed to be reaching an all-time high, though the use of it in my well-to-do private school remained surprisingly stagnant. I remember  asking  begging my father, day in and day out, to buy AOL so I could use the instant messaging features to talk to my friends. Surprisingly, my father didn't see the value in paying more for an internet service that provided less for the purpose of chatting online with people who I last saw an hour before. His inability to understand the requirements of my 5th grade social life annoyed me to no end. You can imagine how delighted I was when AIM, the instant messaging feature of AOL, launched a free version with the same capabilities. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I could finally be accepted into a cyber-world that allowed me to exchange various acronyms with my super-hot crush without the blush on my face sliding off and leaking through my computer monitor....lol.  Fast-forward a few years, and I remember the days I spent hours searching www.homestarrunner.com until I found my "new-favorite" episode of Teen Girl Squad I had been impatiently waiting to show my best friend. Again, my excitement peaked when something was invented to do-away with all of my complaining, procrastinating, and "I swear it's there! I watched it yesterday"-ing -- a search engine to do all of that work and deliver results in 1/40000 of the time it took me before. A sing-songy chorus inside my head chants "BRILLIANT!" My ear-to-ear smile, served with a sigh of amazement by technology, lasted me the next nine years and remains on my face today.
          You would think that the adolescent attraction emanating from our pre-pubescent pores would have been equally radiant in our school and teachers. Maybe so, but it was rarely mirrored in our education. So rare it was, that I remember each occasion as the happiest of my day. Aside from the traditional (yet still exciting) learn-to-use-microsoft-word, type-to-learn, make-a-creation-on-KidPix, lessons, my favorite technological experience of childhood education was playing Zoombinis . For a kid that loves school and technology, what could be better than smurf-life, potato-head shaped creatures leading you down a virtual path of mathematical genius? Let me tell you, not much. As I grew older (sigh) technology became more prominent in my classrooms. The inside of my eyelids are branded with various powerpoint slides from lectures that elicited less than a pin-drop of excitement. Yes, I could rehash all of the boring and unsuccessful ways to bring technology into a classroom of hyper-active kids that are forced to sit quietly for block periods of an hour and a half. But I can also remember when my enthusiasm for technology in the classroom skyrocketed way past AIM or zoombini status.
           Why can't every one of my teachers let me Skype french students once a week? Why isn't creating a French Facebook timeline for a fictional-or-famous person a homework assignment each term? I loved these activities so much that I wanted technology integrated as much as possible in each class I had! Our "do-now" activity of designing our ideal classroom (in terms of technology) was one of the most enthralling I had partaken in this week. I added tablets at every chair, TV's on each wall so every student could see them, and dirty, written-on whiteboards that could scroll up to reveal shiny new ones underneath them. My technology was so advanced, some people might say having a teacher in that room would be unnecessary! ....Oh. Oh crap. A teacher? Unnecessary? My future career being usurped by the thing that I advocated for and promoted from the time I was old enough to complain? I couldn't believe the thought. Conversations with my mother, the court-reporter, realed back through my mind when she wondered if she would soon be replaced by a machine that was quicker and more accurate that she and her co-workers. How naïve I was to think that the only danger with technology was that which is showcased on crime television. In my first class of Teaching with Technology, the idea that technology is both fantastic and incredible, but unpredictable and dangerous were reinforced. Though my journey with technology is stable and long-term, my journey with teaching is fresh and new. I look forward to the ways in which I will learn to merge the two into an inter-dependent, inseparable force, not to be reckoned with.